Benedani -> Chlorobyte

• My Everybody Edits activity.
  • BeneBot

    The Everybody Edits botting scene had been filled by script kiddies at this point. I will not deny being one of those - note that I had just barely made it to double digit years old, discovering the programming scene all on my own. For that age, it is honestly impressive that I had a feature that, somehow, no other bot at the time had - being able to undo all of a certain user's changes to the map.

    This came at the cost of the global ban list. There was a little tiny bit of sense of goodwill in this ban list - horrible people that the game's staff had been completely allowing to go wild, such as historical griefers and malicious botters, would be exiled. Sensitive child me, however, used it for more than that. I proceeded to use it as a card in arguments, to threaten anybody who crossed me with a good ol' 'global ban'. It was simply a list of people I disliked.

    Users were requesting a way to disable the global ban list, which was force enabled. This would be a good request, should the feature actually be for its purpose - you don't worry about griefers in worlds that don't give away 'free edit', for example. However, you know the drill at this point. It was force enabled, to make it clear that the features I was spending my hard work on were only available to those who didn't go out of their way to be hostile towards me. Which there was plenty of reason for, by the way.

  • The problem I really was

    Funnily enough, this banlist still exists to this day. (technical note: copied to the web server to keep the document self-contained. Downloaded from https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/y40snil9krwjndh/globalbanlist.txt on 2024-03-31).

    I distinctively remember an entry saying something like 'I just wanted to help, and that's how you got banned', or something along those lines. The context was modifying someone else's build, which they were not happy about... although I'm not exactly sure where that particular entry went. There is still an entry that says 'Questioning the Global Ban System', so perhaps there was a prune of anybody who didn't explicitly engage in malicious griefing (we referred to this as 'trolling') or botting. Let me know if any of you have a previous version of globalbanlist.txt, so I can add it here.

    In the same Dropbox, I found some rather bad, incriminating evidence. I had forgotten a lot, but this shows that it had been going on all the way until 2017, and that I was also actively engaging in ban evasion using alts. I believe this was on a fork of Everybody Edits, where something called 'gem farming' was possible, hence the names 'gem___'.

    My memory also includes the posting of a fake suicide image on Discord, and actually launching DoS attacks on other players using the ping command (to be fair, upgrade your routers against such a pathetic attack LMAO). These are also only what I can recall. These actions are easily worth a public apology at the very least. If anybody from Everybody Edits is reading this by chance, then just know that I have changed plenty since then. This extends to all actions I listed and also those I may have not.

• My content creation.

  My content was subpar, yet I was seeking a whole lot of attention. Evidence of this readily exist as posts right on my website. Scroll down to the very bottom. If you are reading this after a 'cringe barrier' of some sort has been added, pass that barrier.

  This era has given birth to my projects from CuteCat, all the way up to Brawlforming. It includes comically inactive Twitch Plays streams that nobody played.

  In short, I just needed every little bit of attention. YouTube subscribers, Discord members. Furthermore, numbers weren't enough - they explicitly had to participate in the community. I was desperate, and failed really hard.

  Some might remember my YouTube channel before the purge. That goes here as well. I have downloaded each video before the purge, and I suppose they shall finally be made available outside of my personal backups. Enjoy the free cringe.

• I am not underage, I swear!

  We are going back in time to strictly single-digit age. I believe there are little to no records of this type of activity, and for the most part, I don't believe any harm has been caused. It is more childish than harmful, however, it is funny enough to include in what is essentially a look into my past.

  Funnies include, but are not limited to:

  • The 'imnotevenunderage', 'omgwut', 'lolwut', etc. alt accounts. There is some lore associated with this group of accounts; we were the gods who created the universe, apparently. A psychologist has pointed out that this lore was most likely created as a defense mechanism against the world that was out against me.
  • Accepting a cursed version of English as the 'correct' one. There was 'world' instead of 'Earth'. There was 'agy' instead of 'brain' (???????????????????) There were also good (blue) and bad (red) 'agys'...

  I suppose this is what happens when your social development happens completely on the internet, and there is not a single person (well, not one with actual good intentions) to point you in the right direction.

And... much, much more. At this point, the B3313 drama has also tainted my name somewhat, despite the fact that those allegations are entirely baseless, and dare I say, schizophrenic in nature.

Absolutely not an excuse, but an explanation nonetheless for my prior actions is my unspeakably horrendous life up to this point.

• My parents have actively discouraged me from exploring, discovering the world, and making friends. They did this by a) moving into the very middle of nowhere, where there is no point in going outside; b) heavily controlling and scrutinizing my computer usage and online activity; c) providing no opportunities when explicitly asked to see the world, or at least make my home life less miserable with PC upgrades (read: upgrading from dinosaur era hardware; I was running a 2003 system in 201#) or video games. I was not simply told 'no', either - there were cases of blatant ignorance, up to physical child abuse.
• Toxicity ran rampant over my primary education as well. I had no friends to make, as the school's administration was actively allowing bullying, to the point of serious, permanent injuries that are still on my head. That messed with me a really big deal. Half of the blame is stacked on my parents for not moving me - or my sister, who had to deal with this gauntlet as well - into a different school.

Despite all of what I have done over the internet, the trolling life was still much preferable to reality. I saw it as a much better option; relatively speaking, it was a safe haven.